Why?

My 2 year old would ask, and rightfully so.
I always thought blogs were kind of weird for people like me- nobodies as far as cyberspace is concerned. Who's vain enough to post their innermost thoughts online and who's bored enough to read them? Well, I guess me- and you.

I guess the time has come that I am exploding with ideas and have little available audience for them. Motherhood and the rest of reality sometimes suck that way. So I guess this is a way to get the demons out and hope that it will satisfy my expressive urges for now. This is really the last thing I SHOULD be doing right now- I should be sleeping, cleaning, planning, balancing my checkbook...but....well, all I can think of to say is "May the power of Christ compel you!"

I am suddenly being propelled out of complacency, by love, by desire, by hope. This band we started, these beautiful people that are so dear to me- we have created something that suddenly has awakened something in me. A sleeping dragon (benevolent, of course) that I'd forgotten was deep within.

I'll back up a little. My dear, disenchanted husband Mikel decided to walk the walk and actually get a band together. We gave up a date night to work on a tune with our dear genius chordsmith friend Don, and the blood started flowing back into our veins. (Mikel and I have been unhappily trying to get a life for many years. Parenthood put smiles on our faces but further reduced our days to endless unfinished tasks and dreams of sleeping.) A few days ago we got our dream crew together- Don on accordian/keys/brain, eclectic drumbeat John, Kurt on bari sax, Mikel on bass or baritone guitar (which I was inspired to get him for Father's Day after our session with Don). And me, I got to sing and play on a Wurlitzer keyboard that makes me sound groovy.

That rehearsal was incredible- everything just gelled, and an 11 yr old song that I had discarded suddenly came back to life as something beautiful. We all agreed that it was happenin', and scheduled another rehearsal. Mikel played me back a recording of the session, and we were awed. Since then, I've been obsessed-MUST PRACTICE, MUST WRITE. I'd forgotten how all-consuming it can be to do this. Not in an unhealthy way, but it just seeps into every part of my life.

Now, suddenly, I finally want to clean the house. Work out. Sew those curtains. Read a book. Hug my family. I'm alive again. Not just going through the motions and being tired for no good reason.

Today we went to a commitment ceremony for one of the most loving, compassionate couples I know- Catherine and Andrea. I got to play some Klezmer music with 2 wonderful new friends and the whole thing was so heartfelt and real and happy....Yesterday I went to a retirement luncheon for my former Music Together director (where I will be teaching again soon) and the energy was so pure and good, between all of us mom/musician/teacher folk. Being with all of this goodness just lifted me even higher into the clouds.

So watch out, world. I'm back!